Life for all of us is running in the fast track. 'There is no time to wait and watch' we are running on the unending road to nowhere. We have all felt a little low and been in the blues at one time or the other. What do you think depresses/makes us feel low- or why do we get depressed? The reason for depression is that we feel that we are not in control of the situation- the feeling of helplessness makes us low. Now that we have no control on the situations in the present, it gives us lesser scope for hope in the future! –thus aggravating the feeling to hopelessness. Helplessness and hopelessness are the two main reasons for depression. It is these feelings that lead to despair and low self worth. "When I'm incapable, not capable of doing anything- absolutely worthless, then there is no use of my living" this is what leads to suicidal thoughts and in many situations leads to the act. This is in short the dynamics of depression.
Now the question is -is the condition hereditary or environmental?
There is ample research evidence to show that it is hereditary BUT, although it may be a genetic endowment, it lays dormant unless triggered by some environmental factor. In the absence of the precipitating event a person would continue living a normal life. Secondly, environment has a major role to play in terms of the upbringing of the individual. By upbringing we mean the kind of attitudes, values and the lifestyle that one has learned.
Now you may say how are these things related to depression?
There is deep connection between our thought process and the symptoms of depression.
e.g. you get up in the morning to find that you have a flat tyre. (Scene 1) You know you'll get late for work – you may brood, kick around, curse the tyre, shout at who ever comes your way and while changing the tyre in desperation hurt yourself or lose a nut- further delaying yourself. You may gulp down your breakfast in haste or may skip on it. Frustrated as you were with the morning situation, you may start a bad day at work as well.
(Scene 2)- You know you'll be late for work- but that's out of your control now. You may think of an alternative- call a colleague, take a lift or take some form of public transport leaving the tyre to be attended to later or if there is no way out- try changing the tyre keeping your cool. You will in most probability do it less stressfully and in lesser time.
So, it is your reaction (due to your style of thinking) that makes the situation either a catastrophe or a minor barrier.
Depression in most situations arises from 'Frustration' – what is frustration? It is the feeling / reaction to situations when things do not happen/ occur the way we would like them to be. Why should things in the first place happen the way we want them to occur?
It is our need to be the master of all situations- our expectations from our environment- physical and social that triggers off frustration. Because our expectations are not fulfilled, we feel frustrated.
In order to understand what depresses us we need to understand our expectations from
- Ourselves
- Environment
- The physical environment- infrastructure, logistics etc.
- Others – our colleagues, spouse, children and everyone that we come in touch with.
- The physical environment- infrastructure, logistics etc.
We tend to think too much regarding what others are getting, feeling, thinking and doing and less on what we want, why, how to get it and what we are doing to get there.
We have a tendency to blame others for all the misgivings in our lives. This lack of responsibility and acceptance of our own thoughts and feelings results in undue unrest.
If only we could change our perspective and FOCUS on what we look forward to in life. This would automatically change the course of our thinking, feeling and action patterns.
On the contrary there are people (most prone to depression) who lack the sense of self- to the extent that they do things only to keep others happy and have no idea whatsoever as to what they want. Such people tend to take their inability to please the hard-to please others as a statement on their capability, and thus harbour feelings of inadequacy and low self worth, leading to lowered spirits.
To overcome this situation one needs to learn to be more communicative, assertive (not aggressive) about one's needs, desires and limitations. One needs to learn to organize one's days.
Time management is a key to most of the problems of the present day. Like we plan our meals, taking care that all kinds of nutrients are included in our and our family's diet, similarly we should learn to have a balance of work, play, meals, exercise and leisure in our daily routine. If we learn to prioritize- differentiating between the important and the urgent then we can lead stress free lives.
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