Peer Pressure?

Whenever there is an issue of negative behaviors in children, peer pressure tends to be a prominent concern on our minds. Its easier to fix the blame on the uncontrollable influence. Ever wondered why do children take to the naive and inexperienced peers rather than seek help and guidance from more reliable and experienced sources? Its a matter of 1. easily availability 2. unconditional regard 3. trust.
As parents and teachers we tend to lose trust of our children because of the perptual 'speaking from the podium'.
As we all know that learning starts right from the time that a child opens his/her eyes to this world, most of the learning takes place at home in the early years and this learning stays on with us in many different ways. Most of what parents and other well meaning adults push their children to do is influenced by their desire to be viewed in a positive light when among their friends, colleagues and relatives. A child's performance is one of the parameters to assess our social standing and our capability and success as a parent. This leads many parents to compare their children to whosoever they perceive as better placed than them. It is this early pattern to assess themselves against an external standard that leads children to fall for peer suggestions. Peer approval becomes their referral point for assessment of their worth and thereby self esteem. (This is not to say that the physical and envirnmental influences donot attract the adolescents towards glamour and rebellion, the hormonal changes do influence the behaviour of adolescents)- But closer observation of resilient adolescents reveals that they tend to have a well defined internal locus of control. They are more confident of their own abilities, they are good at problem solving and decision making and are open to experiment with alternatives.

The onus of responsibility lies with the parents and other role models. When we as adults give the children optimum opportunities, encourage independent decision making and functioning and are tolerant of mistakes and divergent views, they'll grow up to be responsible and independent individuals. If we allow them to set their rules and conditions of functioning within a set framework they learn to trust us and their own ability to take charge of their lives.