A Wife's letter

In an ordinary Indian family the usual  day began with the man blaming his wife of  how careless she was. He woke up pointing out how she had failed to teach her children good habits and discipline. How horribly messed she keeps the house and how lousy a cook she was. To add to it every allegation ended with how well he himself could have handled the whole household perfectly and efficiently. Fed up of clearing her position year after year - she decided to give up and take a break that would keep her away from the family for almost a month.  

Knowing fully well that the man wasn't aware of the actual effort that goes into maintaining the household she decided to write a letter to her  husband. This is how it goes.

Dear Hubby

Ever since our brief talk in the morning, I've realized that you are right and that the time has come when I should actually launch myself. Now that you have agreed to look after the household matters as well- I second thought tells me there are a lot of things that you have not seen me do. So, in order for you to not feel cheated and lied to, I think its my duty to let you know what all needs to be looked after , taken care of and attended to throughout the day, every few days and every 2-3 months.

 

I really don't know where to start - well I'll start from the morning assuming that the base work had been done at night.

Kids' tiffin has to be prepared- with no  repetitions and bread not more than twice every  week. As for fruit to be put in the tiffin pomegranate is their favourite. Besides filling their school water bottles, the empty bottles from the previous day are to be filled and placed in the fridge so that you and the kids have cold water to drink at night and throughout the day respectively.  

 

Prepare good, wholesome, healthy breakfast and lunch for yourself -no short cuts please because your health means a lot to all five of us.

 

Before leaving for office put all the towels outside to dry or they will start stinking and you'll have to wash them every fourth day ( dried towels can to used for 10-12 days.

Before leaving also make the beds- and fold blankets- you can't sleep on previous day's laundry and all the toys and books scattered on the bed.

 

In case you want to save on your time and energy - lay out clothes that the kids have to wear after they return from school- or else straighten their shelves of clothes every third day. 

Clothes need to be washed everyday - but you can do the laundry every second day also. A full load of colored clothes on one day and whites on the other. When washing whites esp their uniforms- preferably soak in warm water at night (also put bleach and detergent)- for best results and it will save you on a lot of labour. Second option is to take both of them to task and warn them not to dirty their uniforms- curtail their fun and feel bad about not letting your children enjoy their childhood just to save some of your labour. Well. you are the best judge-  

CAUTION- if you decide to do a weekly laundry there can be a few hazards

1. By the weekend none of you may be left with any undergarments to wear

2. The heap of clothes may get unmanageable

3. You might have to do all the washing in 2 or 3 rounds - each round takes 2-21/2 hrs and drying area may become a problem. also the dried clothes need to be managed.

4. Not all clothes can go to the Ironing lady  because kids' t-shirts carry prints that may get damaged.

( well you might not want to bother about that - 'we'll get new ones ) then make sure to go to the market and buy new ones every month- that actually sounds interesting and tempting. That reminds me its been long when I went shopping almost about 2 I/2 months)

 

All this assuming that the maid is generous enough not to take any offs .

Shopping reminds me every 2-3 months check for each one's stock of undergarments and review wardrobe every month to shuffle the less worn and most worn clothes otherwise they do not fit any more.

 

Before getting back home bring the grocery- fruits, vegetables and other things that each one of you likes- buns for the younger one, bananas for the elder.

Sorry you can't stack all this on a Sunday because till next Saturday  they'll not edible or won't last.

 

Every 15 days flush the filters in the kitchen and  clean the refrigerator or it will stink of stale food.

When You prepare dinner make sure that there are certain things that your father doesn't eat and there are things that he eats and no one else eats. Granny will help you with this- alternatively she can cook in your place and you can feel guilty for having your old mother doing all that while your arrogant wife is out enjoying life.

Before I forget- do not forget to check the doors and windows before going off to sleep, take your medicines on time, check for the availability of bread and butter in the refrigerator and make sure the children have done their homework and have no pending projects to be finished. 

In case any one of you may have any health issues the doctors nos. are in the diary and the first aid box contains the preliminary medicines. 

 

 How you like to take charge of the situation entirely depends on how you want to feel - proud of your wife or sorry for yourself.

Love you Dear for whatever you've done for me.

Your worthless wife.

 

 

 

 

People are more important than the money we earn off them.

  
I would like to share something we all need to learn. 

Suze Orman: The Right Order Is People, Money, Things When financial planner and motivational speaker Suze Orman talks, people listen. Orman says we all need to get our priorities straight. “The United States of America would not be in the situation it is right now if we had really cared about people first, and we cared about the well-being of people more than we cared about the money we made off of them. We would have had the strength to say to them, ‘You can’t afford this mortgage; we’re not going to lend you money you’re never going to be able to pay back,’ ” Orman says. To sync your priorities with your finances, Orman says: Don’t buy things unless you have the money to buy them. Don’t expand your business unless you have the money to do so. Realize people are the key to everything—money can’t do anything without people. Think about and understand what you’re doing—and why—with your money.

Happiness

 Happiness- something that each one of us continuously seeking- yet it seems to evade us in any which way.

Some quotes regarding happiness.

Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.

Happiness is not an accident. Nor is it something you wish for. Happiness is something you design.

How sad to see a father with money and no joy. The man studied economics, but never studied happiness.

The greatest source of unhappiness comes from inside.

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. There shall never be 'that perfect day' when everything will be alright.
So, look for happiness today in whatever you have.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Don't worry , be happy.

You are a Masterpiece

"A plum once said, 'just because a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana. Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became an apple, but he went in search of grapes. Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no more know who I am. How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover.'

Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are, there is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You need to think Good of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate. Never stoop down in order to gain recognition. Never let go of your true self to win a relationship. In the long run, you will regret that you traded your greatest Glory - your uniqueness, for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many people. The group that does not accept you as YOU is not your world.

There is a world for each one of you, where you shall reign as king /queen by just being yourself. Find that world... In fact, that world will find You.

What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold cannot. The fragility of the ant enables it to move and the rigidity of the tree enables it to stay rooted. Everything and everybody has been designed with a proportion of uniqueness to serve a purpose that we can fulfill only by being our unique self. You as you alone can serve your purpose and I as I Alone can serve my purpose. You are here to be you... Just YOU.

There was a time in this world when a Krishna was required and he was sent; a time when a Christ was required and he was sent; a time when a Mahatma was required and he was sent; a time when a JRD Tata was required and he was sent. There came a time when you were required on this planet and hence you were sent. Let us be the best we can be.

In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like you and to the infinity of time to come, there will be no one like you. Existence should have loved you so much that it broke the mould after making you, so that another of your kind will never get repeated. You are original. You are rare. You are unique. You are a wonder. You are a masterpiece. .. Your Master’s piece...

Life is short- make the best of it.

Randy Pausch 47–years–old, a computer science lecturer from Mellon University died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book "The last lecture" before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind. In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life"
for his wife and children
to follow.

May you be blessed by his insight.

 Points on how to improve your life

Personality

*  Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
*  Don’t have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
*  Don’t overdo; keep your limits
*  Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
*  Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
*  Dream more while you are awake.
*  Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
*  Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
*  Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
*  Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
*  No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
*  Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
*  Smile and laugh more.
*  You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community

*  Call your family often.
*  Each day give something good to others.
*  Forgive everyone for everything.
*  Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
*  Try to make at least three people smile each day.
*  What other people think of you is none of your business.
*  Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life

*  Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
*  GOD heals everything
*  Do the right things
*  However good or bad a situation is, it will change
*  No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
*  The best is yet to come
*  Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful
*  When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
*  If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.

 No matter where in the world you belong - the principles of good living do not change. Get focused and start living without waiting for things to get better.

The importance of co operation in competition

All great leaders of the world believe that if you want to succeed, you should help those around you, grow.

Today I would like to share a story about success.

There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning corn.
Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honor and
prizes.


One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt something
interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the
farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors'.


"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors
when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the
reporter asked.


"Why sir, "said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen
from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my
neighbors grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn,
cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am
to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn."


The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His
corn cannot improve unless his neighbor's corn also improves. So it is
in the other dimensions! Those who choose to be at harmony must help
their neighbors and colleagues to be at peace... Those who choose to
live well must help others to live well. The value of a life is measured
by the lives it touches.


SUCCESS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN ISOLATION. IT IS VERY OFTEN A PARTICIPATIVE
AND COLLECTIVE PROCESS.


So share the good practices, ideas, new learnings with your family, team
members, neighbors. All the Successes is a Team Work of a family, group,
enterprise, corporation... Infact TEAM as an acronym of letters T,E,A,M
T Together
E Everyone
A Achieves
M More

CORRUPTION – ARE WE ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

Corruption – the word has been rocking the nation in the recent times more than it has done in the past. But the fact remains that it has been there in the society even before we actually got on the streets, and fighting it became a household discussion. Right from the times of ‘Shree420’ and ‘Anari’ to ‘Roti, Kapda aur Makaan’ to the more recent ‘Rang de Basanti’ and ‘Aarakshan’ , it has only multiplied in its magnitude and proportions so much so that it has gained public acceptance. And owing to the external locus of control that we Indians are known to have –blame it on the system.

While the Oxford dictionary defines it as an irregular alteration of the text, language etc., I understand it as having altered meaning of the same law for different people at different times. That’s what we see happening in public life – a behaviour is punishable if enacted by a ‘mere mortal’ but ‘no big deal’ when committed by the more influential and people in positions of power. In very simple words – when one is not doing one’s duty honestly and begins to believe that they are doing a favour and therefore need to be compensated for it, that’s corruption.

Do we see an end to it in the near future – the answer is a big NO.

I’ve my reasons for saying so – it cannot go because we’ll not let it go. Surprised ? But that’s true. Its so deeply ingrained in our psyches and our social fabric that at least in a 100 years to come – it is there to stay.

If we consider the psychological dynamics of the phenomenon we would realize that it serves a potent role in the lives of people. It starts with the assumption that some people are more privileged than others and that everyone is not equal. There are systems that relegate more power and prestige to some people by virtue of their sex, religion, caste and a number of fractions created for convenience of having control over certain segments of the society. Such power brings with it a social hypocrisy that bestows on them more privileges and the right to dictate terms at the cost of the fundamental rights of that group.

Unfortunately this happens not only at the national, regional and community level – it happens in families. Family the smallest and the most basic unit of a society – which is responsible for the formation of social and national character is at the seat of corruption. Families fail to give equal rights to certain members in the name of hierarchy, family honour and/or issues of security and protection – suppressing the human rights. Rights and duties are unequally distributed in the favor of the more powerful – who get to enjoy all the rights and duties are delegated to the not- so-powerful.

The ancient texts have clearly laid down the rules for the people in authority positions and the protector or as we shall call the head of the organization in modern times – the leader – to lead by example. Leadership is about guarding the interest of the protected and about motivating them for the efficient execution of the system. Family being a primary organization, the head of the family needs to protect and appreciate the interests and safeguard the dignity of the dependents. When families begin to give equal opportunities and rights to all its members irrespective of the place in the hierarchy and various other factors, it will start to show in the social fabric and then reflect on the national front. When the law applies to all with rather more stringent consequences for the people in authority, then we will succeed in bringing about a corruption free society.

So, on this women’s day I would appeal to all women – the bearers and rearers of the future generation – teach your children to be more just, more patient and tolerant of the rights of others. Feel more empowered and teach your children to be independent, teach them to be considerate and teach them to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and actions.