A Wife's letter

In an ordinary Indian family the usual  day began with the man blaming his wife of  how careless she was. He woke up pointing out how she had failed to teach her children good habits and discipline. How horribly messed she keeps the house and how lousy a cook she was. To add to it every allegation ended with how well he himself could have handled the whole household perfectly and efficiently. Fed up of clearing her position year after year - she decided to give up and take a break that would keep her away from the family for almost a month.  

Knowing fully well that the man wasn't aware of the actual effort that goes into maintaining the household she decided to write a letter to her  husband. This is how it goes.

Dear Hubby

Ever since our brief talk in the morning, I've realized that you are right and that the time has come when I should actually launch myself. Now that you have agreed to look after the household matters as well- I second thought tells me there are a lot of things that you have not seen me do. So, in order for you to not feel cheated and lied to, I think its my duty to let you know what all needs to be looked after , taken care of and attended to throughout the day, every few days and every 2-3 months.

 

I really don't know where to start - well I'll start from the morning assuming that the base work had been done at night.

Kids' tiffin has to be prepared- with no  repetitions and bread not more than twice every  week. As for fruit to be put in the tiffin pomegranate is their favourite. Besides filling their school water bottles, the empty bottles from the previous day are to be filled and placed in the fridge so that you and the kids have cold water to drink at night and throughout the day respectively.  

 

Prepare good, wholesome, healthy breakfast and lunch for yourself -no short cuts please because your health means a lot to all five of us.

 

Before leaving for office put all the towels outside to dry or they will start stinking and you'll have to wash them every fourth day ( dried towels can to used for 10-12 days.

Before leaving also make the beds- and fold blankets- you can't sleep on previous day's laundry and all the toys and books scattered on the bed.

 

In case you want to save on your time and energy - lay out clothes that the kids have to wear after they return from school- or else straighten their shelves of clothes every third day. 

Clothes need to be washed everyday - but you can do the laundry every second day also. A full load of colored clothes on one day and whites on the other. When washing whites esp their uniforms- preferably soak in warm water at night (also put bleach and detergent)- for best results and it will save you on a lot of labour. Second option is to take both of them to task and warn them not to dirty their uniforms- curtail their fun and feel bad about not letting your children enjoy their childhood just to save some of your labour. Well. you are the best judge-  

CAUTION- if you decide to do a weekly laundry there can be a few hazards

1. By the weekend none of you may be left with any undergarments to wear

2. The heap of clothes may get unmanageable

3. You might have to do all the washing in 2 or 3 rounds - each round takes 2-21/2 hrs and drying area may become a problem. also the dried clothes need to be managed.

4. Not all clothes can go to the Ironing lady  because kids' t-shirts carry prints that may get damaged.

( well you might not want to bother about that - 'we'll get new ones ) then make sure to go to the market and buy new ones every month- that actually sounds interesting and tempting. That reminds me its been long when I went shopping almost about 2 I/2 months)

 

All this assuming that the maid is generous enough not to take any offs .

Shopping reminds me every 2-3 months check for each one's stock of undergarments and review wardrobe every month to shuffle the less worn and most worn clothes otherwise they do not fit any more.

 

Before getting back home bring the grocery- fruits, vegetables and other things that each one of you likes- buns for the younger one, bananas for the elder.

Sorry you can't stack all this on a Sunday because till next Saturday  they'll not edible or won't last.

 

Every 15 days flush the filters in the kitchen and  clean the refrigerator or it will stink of stale food.

When You prepare dinner make sure that there are certain things that your father doesn't eat and there are things that he eats and no one else eats. Granny will help you with this- alternatively she can cook in your place and you can feel guilty for having your old mother doing all that while your arrogant wife is out enjoying life.

Before I forget- do not forget to check the doors and windows before going off to sleep, take your medicines on time, check for the availability of bread and butter in the refrigerator and make sure the children have done their homework and have no pending projects to be finished. 

In case any one of you may have any health issues the doctors nos. are in the diary and the first aid box contains the preliminary medicines. 

 

 How you like to take charge of the situation entirely depends on how you want to feel - proud of your wife or sorry for yourself.

Love you Dear for whatever you've done for me.

Your worthless wife.