The Virtue of Gratitude

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

I must take this opportunity to thank Dr. Vijay Kansal for sending in such words of wisdom.

The search for Happiness

All of us talk about finding happiness. But really, finding happiness is something that we all do, though often with little success. In fact, I would say that people today have a lot of practice in the search for happiness. It's just that they look for that happiness in all the wrong places.

Any of these sound familiar?

Over eating

"Shopping" therapy

Using drugs or alcohol

Affairs

Staying in unhealthy relationships

Procrastination

Partying

Looking for online friends

These are ways we try to find happiness but sadly we are extremely unsuccessful. In fact, these attempts at happiness often lead to more discontent.

Happiness is a skill

What most people do not realize is that happiness is a skill- just like playing a sport or music instrument. If you learn the more effective ways to play AND you practice, you can get good at any skill. Unfortunately most people have not learned the skills of what truly brings more happiness, so they are practicing unhelpful and sometimes detrimental practices in their pursuit of happiness.

To be happy, just be GREAT

Regardless of what is going on in your life, you can make it better, and it won't cost you a thing. All you have to do is be GREAT!

G = Gratitude

R = Relaxation

E = Exercise

A = Assist others

T = Talk it out

Gratitude: Be grateful for what you have rather than discontent about what you don't

We have a tendency to scan our environment and focus on what's bad, what "should" be better, and what needs to be "fixed." Instead focus on the positive elements in your life- be thankful for what you have.

Relaxation: Decrease stress and relaaaax

Relaxing doesn't require you to sit in an uncomfortable, cross-legged position and repeatedly chant "om," either. True relaxation, in which you flush the stress out of your body and mind, is just a simple way of being happier.

Exercise: Exercise your way to happiness

We are all familiar with at least some of the benefits of exercise to our physical health but did you know, though, that exercise is also good for your psychological health? Evidence shows that exercise can raise mood-enhancing neurotransmitters in the brain, enhances positive attitudes, releases muscle tension, promotes better sleep, has a calming effect and lessens anxiety and depression.

So get moving, and make it fun - go for a walk with your dog, bounce on a trampoline, go dancing, or play with your kids.

Assist others: Helping out others will increase your own happiness

When you help someone, you not only help the individual receiving the aid, but also yourself. Performing kind acts for others is one of the most satisfying and gratifying things you can do with your time. It helps alter your focus from "what is wrong with my life" to more positive thoughts like "I don't have it as bad as she does" and "I am really making a difference." Look for opportunities throughout the day to help others. You, and the person receiving your assistance, will appreciate that you did.

Talk it out: Use effective communication

George Bernard Shaw said that the "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." Arguments, conflicts and even wars have been waged because of problems with effective communication. Learn to really listen to others and then verify if what you heard is really what they meant. When you do, what a happy world it will be!

Its the parents who ingrain in the child the values of living - I would like to share a Dad's letter to his child, which so beautifully gives a positive perspective towards life.

Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility to treat you well, except your mother and I.

To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and also you have to be cautious , because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.

Its so amazing how we as individuals, parents and teachers put a tab on our own and our children's and pupils's abilities and potentials, and also how what we believe to be true for us and for our dependents- actually defines how we perform.

We almost always tend to protect ourselves and our loved ones from going that 'extra mile' on the pretext of lack of physical and/or emotional strength- little do we realize that we all have in us the ability to surpass what we think we are capable of.

Our children need just that extra trust- our trust that they can do it.

Let’s aspire to be true to ourselves

Its been a very long since I wrote on my blog- something that I had started with an aim of helping myself understand my ‘self’ better and in the process help others benefit in their day to day issues. For the last few months the thought of not being able to connect to my self had been bothering me and the fact that in every counselling session I focus on making my client appreciate the importance of making time for what you ‘really’ want to do – something that I’m not following- was disturbing.

So , today I plan to break this pattern of procrastination by promising to my diary that I shall make some time twice a week to write something.

Here, I would like to share something beautiful I read.

The World Needs People...

Who cannot be bought;

Whose word is their bond;

Who put character above wealth;

Who possess opinions and a will;

Who are larger than their vocations;

Who do not hesitate to take chances;

Who will not lose their individuality in a crowd;

Who will be as honest in small things as in great things;

Who will make no compromise with wrong;

Whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires;

Who will not say they do it "because everybody else does it;"

Who are true to their friends through adversity as well as prosperity;

Who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning, and hard headedness are the best qualities for winning success;

Who are not ashamed or afraid to stand for the truth when it is unpopular.

© by Ted W. Engstrom
From Motivation to Last a Lifetime

Nine Essentials for Contented Living

Health enough to make work a pleasure.

Wealth enough to support your needs.

Strength enough to battle difficulties and overcome them.

Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them.

Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished.

Clarity enough to see some good in your neighbor.

Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others.

Faith enough to make real the things of God.

Hope enough to remove all anxious fears confronting the future.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

Our kids – our mirror

 

We send our kids to the best schools we can afford. We make sure their food is nutritious, we organize abacus lessons, music classes, private tuitions and if they need it, we take them to the best known paediatrician for any of their physical ailments. We give in to their pleas for the latest fashion clothing and gadgets, and frequently fall for their pleas for fast food. All this makes it abundantly clear that we love them very much and want the very best for them.

Our most noble intention behind all this is our 'need to see them happy'.

Today I want to discuss other aspects of helping them grow up well and happy. And all of these have to do with us, and not with them.

This asks for a lot of introspection – looking inside ourselves

What does your own happiness depend on? Do you need your external circumstances to be just so in order to be happy? Or have you found the way to being happy no matter what the external circumstances? In other words, have you worked on yourself enough to depend on yourself for your happiness?

Are you happy being what you really are? Or have we fallen into the trap of posing to be happy by aligning ourselves to certain norms and standards set out as parameters of success and happiness?

You always have a choice

What kind of choices do you make? How much responsibility do you take for resolving your own issues? When you make your choices - every day - during your entire life, do you remember to be aware in order to recognize that at each step of the way you always have alternatives? Do you remember that you are responsible for everything you feel, think, say, and do?

In other words, you need not yell, you need not cry, you need not despair, you need not fear, you need not resort to anger, because you always have another alternative.

As the saying goes 'Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional'. In any situation in life, troubles abound but our choices make all the difference. If we decide to take things head-on, we are bound to find workable alternatives.

Are we in our lives behaving so as to show our children 'to look for alternatives' or we're surrendering to be victims of our circumstances?

Do you carry emotional baggage?

Do you tend to blame others? Are you a victim of events or people in your life? Can you forgive? What you show your child by one or the other mode of behaviour, will, in some ways, determine his/her chance at happiness now and in the future. If you carry your past along, your children learn to do the same. Learn to live in the present- remember 'the past is gone – but the present is a gift'. Learn not to blame, no matter what - stop being a victim, no matter what - and begin to forgive, no matter what - in order to teach all of this to your child by virtue of your own example!

Walking Your Talk

Do you walk your talk? Do you say one thing and do another? Are you authentic? Are you really the way you portray yourself to be? Discover yourself because only if you do that, can you really walk your talk and in the process show your child what it means to be authentic. Your children will learn to honour you and your word if they see that you mean what you say.

Transparency

Be open with your children! Show them that you can make mistakes, or that you can learn from them. Show them that you are open to being open, and that you invite openness from them, no matter what they want to confide in you! Doing this is both easy and hard. It's easy because it is really just a question of choosing to be like this, but it's hard because in order to be like this, you must also choose to become self-aware and conscious at all times, choose to make yourself responsible for all that you feel, think, say, and do, and hence choose to work on all the those aspects

Value people more than things

There'll be umpteen situations when they will damage things you like, things that they like, ones which are rare, others that are expensive- but at the end of it they are only 'material things'. If you reprimand your child, spouse or helper unduly for the loss, they are bound to learn to value them more than people. With kids around keep precious things out of reach and despite due precaution if something is damaged, see it as an opportunity to replace it with something better- letting her down will only distance her from you.

So, if you want your children to grow up to be exceptional kids, look within, work on yourself, become congruent, love yourself and realize that every positive thing you do in order to improve yourself will have a ripple effect on the lives of all those you touch.

You have so many gifts to give your child. No one expects you to be perfect. But you can start the road towards the goal of growth, self awareness, and loving yourself by beginning today with the first step. That first step is simply remembering to be conscious, and when you forget, forgiving yourself for forgetting, but praising yourself for at least having remembered that you forgot to remember to be conscious. And then doing it all over again...

The more time you spend being conscious, the more quickly you will reach the goal of your own inner freedom, and the more quickly you will reach the goal of being able to offer your child the gift of your example with all of this.